Men who design the flys on pants must have HUGE dicks

Ever owed a pair for pants will a really really long fly? Who Needs that much room?! Seriously. Girls must love men who design pants, just like how guys love girls that work in underwear stores.

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD

DA DADA     DA DA     DADA!!!

sing along if you know the words

DA DA DA DA     DADADADADA DA

Epic Meal time!!!

BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND GAY BACON STRIPS!!!!

Join the Ranks MTG

So today i found my self just casually surfing the interwebs for some storyline on a Magic the Gathering deck type I love to play, the allies. Whilst searching i came across a guy with his idea of a simple Ally deck. This was his idea 

4 Bojuka Brigand cards

4 Kazuul Wardlord cards

4 Hagra Diabolist cards

4 Ondu Cleric cards

4 Stonework Puma cards

4 Vastwood Animist

5 Swamp cards

5 Plains cards

5 Mountain cards

5 Forest cards

2 Vines of Vastwood cards

4 Join the Ranks

2 Story Circle cards

2 Ghostly Prison

3 Pulse of the Forge cards

3 Barbed Lightning cards

Okay for those of you who want to play Allies (which i recommend, they are real fun) DO NOT build a deck like this.
First off what any good Magic player would realise is that Allies are like spells them selves. Each triggered by one another. So the need for spells becomes very small and you should focus on your creatures then your spells. 

The way to win an ally game is a lot like any solider like deck, destroy your opponent with 10 or so different cards building on each other by so that each of your creatures is being granted the ability of each other one. The more creatures you have the more abilities you have to use and the harder you are to beat. There is nothing like the feeling of seeing your opponents face as you swinging for 5 and then announcing its list of added bonuses like first strike, flying, haste, vigilance and trample. Once more the feeling of gaining 10 life with an ondu cleric or two  just for playing one creature is wicked. 

You have to remember that with an ally deck you must keep playing allies to get their awesome benefits. Thats why i recommend a creature heavy deck, so you can keep activating those abilities. 

Now not everything this guy said was completely shit. He talked about protecting your creatures. True. The undoing of any Ally deck is if some bitch red player burns the ones you need, and lets face it, they are easy to burn when they first hit the field. I have one word. asceticism. Even a circle of protection, if you wanta go old school. 

So for those of you who'd be keen to start Allies here is a few tips:

- Keep it creature heavy

- use necessaries spells, dont put in cool spells that just take up room.

- asceticism!!!

- Dont underestimate the advantage of having Harabaz Druid or 4.

- And try a Genesis wave for 6, after you have a Ondu Druid or 2 out. Epic.

- Join the ranks is great! Use it to trigger surprise abilities or just push out your numbers.

- And last, doubling chant in an ally deck = DEVASTATING esspecially if you have just used a Genesis wave.

Anyways thats all really, if you have Q's im happy to answer them.